Relational Therapy for Individuals


Relational work can be done a variety of ways- in Couple’s Counseling with your partner, but also on your own as you sort through what you want and need. It can help clarify whether or not you want to stay in your partnership, what happened to cause a marriage to end, or what you would want to do differently if you tried again at love. By looking at your other relationships (especially in your family-of-origin) and healing some of the old wounds, your ability to relate to a partner will increase.  When you have not gotten your needs met in the past it often shows up in the present.  Sorting this out can significantly help you get what you need from a romantic partner, and meet your partner’s needs more effectively, too. 


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The basic principles of relational therapy are:

  1. We all need love and belonging at home.  It helps us feel safe.  It allows for full expression of our character and personality,   It paradoxically enables us to go out into the world independently and make mistakes, knowing someone will be there if we fail. 


  2. When relationships are good we feel loved and accepted just as we are.  Couple’s Counseling and Relationship Therapy are intended to give you tools for understanding what you need and how to ask for it.  They also help you interpret what your partner needs from you.   


  3. By and large, no one teaches us to be relational.   Understanding what we need, communicating those needs, and meeting the needs of a partner are all part of being in a relationship.  This set of skills requires upkeep and attention. 


Relational Therapy is a hands-on approach that teaches how humans communicate, gives you a chance to practice with your partner, and allows you to try out new behaviors home.  It can help you clarify what you need to be happy, and how you can build intimacy and connection with someone you love.